


feels like home

by hutazone



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, but they haven't meet each other in years too, chanhee is a MESSY and a salt gay i love him, chanhee is best friends with kevin!!!, jacob! barista, kevin and jacob know each other for years, so here's the mess after they do that, this is only rated teen because of bad words !!!, this is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 21:03:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14481129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hutazone/pseuds/hutazone
Summary: kevin and jacob were best friends in canada.were. past tense.but somehow they ended up meeting each other in a complete different country. korea.and somehow kevin still feels the same way towards jacob like years ago.





	feels like home

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo cowboyz stans
> 
> this is my first english fic i ever post in public so i swear to god don't be mean to me okay this was literally in my draft for TWO MONTHS
> 
> ps.: this is messy. i am SORRY

kevin misses canada so much. he do not miss a specific thing there, but just everything. his friends, his family, his old classmates that he was used to meet sometimes and the cute dog he always meet in his way to home. but the sensation of not being in home hurted him the most. when he was in canada, even if he was left alone, it still felt like he is in the right place. in home.  
not like he hated korea. he really loved the country, the culture is amazing and his friends here are awesome too. but the feeling is not the same. and this was annoying him.  
his friends noticed that. chanhee was the first one to notice and actively help. those two always get along well. they are always together even after when university classes end. they are that typical best friends who everyone assumes is dating each other, but they are just clingy (sometimes too much).  
chanhee started to search everything that can remember him of canada, he even bought a leaf pushie for him, but it doesn’t seem to help at all. then he found out there’s a canadian coffee really popular in korea. kevin loves coffee so much, it seemed like destiny to him. 

\- why are you making such drama about it? i am not going because it’s a ‘’canadian’’ coffee bar, people told me the coffee there was amazing and i want to prove it myself. i am not going because of you, kevin. shut up.  
the thing is the older boy doesn’t really want to go. he knew chanhee was doing everything to make him feel a bit like home, but he doesn’t want to disappoint him. not again.  
\- but what if the taste isn’t really that good? what if their coffee makes me feel nothing but worse?  
\- nothing is going to happen, kevin. calm down. you don’t really need to taste the coffee though. i am just bringing you because you love coffee just like me and won’t get triggered if i end up drinking like 3 cups because you know it’s possible. also… what if they start to talk in english, i don’t want them to believe i am a dumb bitch because of that. if you go, they won’t-  
\- ok, chanhee. i got you, but if i feel like that’s not my place i will just leave, okay? you can stay there.  
\- ok. but do not leave if they start to talk in english! i am going to haunt you forever if you do so. 

kevin was actually inner excited. he misses his coffee made in a canadian way. he misses his mom’s coffee. and... sighs. he misses his old friend jacob’s coffee the most.  
when they arrived at the place, figures of leafs stand out and kevin sighed hard thinking about how cliché this was. how the owners must not even be from canada, but went someday and ‘’oh! surprise! the coffee is amazing, i should open a coffee bar to sell it!’’ he sighed again.  
\- stop with that sighs, your breathing is annoying me. – chanhee complained, removing the thoughtful boy out of his daydream.  
kevin sighed hardly in his face to annoy him even more, he even hugged the boy to not let him escape. chanhee was smiling widely, but he doesn’t know how to express his feelings well so he started to curse about how his breath odor was awful.  
\- you really need to drink coffee. i am not going to live a second anymore if your death breath stings me like that.  
\- oh, yes. i really should drink it, then you will have a reason to kiss me, isn’t that what you are thinking, baby? - kevin teases his best friend while they sit in a random seat.  
\- shut the hell up, kevin. i don’t love coffee that much to do this awful shit.  
\- hm, okay, okay. if i was changmin you would do that though. – he whispered as he started to rub his own neck, trying to imitate the boy mentioned.  
chanhee blushed instantly and snapped him. kevin started to laugh really loud. so someone approaches them.  
\- welcome to canada’s best coffee in korea, leaf beans! sorry for being late, sirs. here’s our menu, feel free to ask me whatever you want here. – the boy, who seemed to be a little older than both of them, smiled softly.  
kevin had goosebumps as soon as he sees him for some unknown reason. his voice seemed similar, and he felt the impulsive feeling to buy a coffee.  
\- oh.. what are your recommendations? – kevin smiled awkwardly, in a very square way.  
\- hm, from all of those… - he hesitated. but when he looked at kevin’s smile. he continued. chanhee notices that. - i think my favorite is what i call passport home. it’s a simple cappuccino but it brings me to the time i kind of invented it when i was back in canada? it reminds me of home.  
home. that’s the word kevin was searching for weeks since he realized his feelings. he smiled in a less awkward way and chanhee notices that.  
\- are you from canada? – kevin finally replies after thinking about the word too much.  
\- oh, yes! you are too, sir?  
\- yes, yes.  
there’s a more awkward silence between the two canadian boys. more awkward than kevin’s smile. and chanhee notices that too.  
\- hm, hm. so i want the one with the decoration. it looks really nice. don’t you think, kevin? - he emphasizes his best friend's name.  
\- ah, yes. it sounds really good besides that though! i am going with the coffee you recommended, and chanhee, you are going with that one, right?  
chanhee moves his head softly looking in the worker’s eyes. they were shocked, he could feel that. and it was in kevin’s direction.  
\- what-t is your name again? – kevin shocked his head and frowned his eyebrowns.  
\- his name is kevin. kevin moon.  
\- ok, i am going to call your name when it’s ready. if you guys ever need another thing, don’t hesitate to call me!  
the worker goes back to his work, but he tripped in his way. chanhee laughs.  
\- he is cute, kevin. you should approa-  
\- why did you tell my full name, son of the devil?  
\- i just thought he was interested in you. look at him, he is eyeing you again.  
kevin turns his head and catch the other’s stare. embarrassed, he looks away and tries to convince he is really working.  
\- it’s because you were talking about him. chill. not everything revolves to gay stuff.  
\- you sure though? did you notice how he was shocked when i said your name? no? because i did, so i am right!  
\- why would he be shocked at my name? i am not a kpop idol or something similar.  
chanhee laughs hardly at how the barista reacted to his best friend’s words. he realized what is going on.  
\- hm, do you remember that one friend in canada you told me about that was really good at making coffee and you had a crus-  
\- oh. my. god. chanhee. stop talking forever. i don’t like mentioning him. also why are you talking about this all of sudden? it’s not like-  
the employee calls out kevin as he already made their coffee cups. that fast.  
\- here is your coffee, mr chanhee? – chanhee smiles as he said his name correctly.- and here is your coffee, – he coughed. – kevin. enjoy it and let me know your opinion about it. thanks.  
chanhee started to tease him more after the ‘’let me know your opinion’’ and kevin just wanted to leave. but at the same time the scent of the coffee didn’t let him go. not now.  
he grabbed the cup’s hand. smelled a little bit more as he close his eyes. and then he throw the hot liquid in his throat. words can’t describe how he felt after the first drop. it felt amazingly similar to his favorite coffee. the one his old friend used to do to him everyday, that friend who left him years ago without a word. it felt exactly like jacob’s coffee.  
flashbacks of them together returns to his head in a rush. jacob bae was his first friend, his first friend to become a best friend and his first friend to become a crush. the first one he confessed to, the first one he got rejected to, the first one that abandoned him. jacob was a lot of his firsts and kevin wanted this back. but at the same time he didn’t want to feel this all over again.  
he looked at the worker again, the one that seemed like him was staring kevin cautiously at the counter. he looks incredible different than before. his hair is brown now and he grew up a bit. kevin goes back to face chanhee.  
\- see? it’s him, isn’t it? i am a genius, albert einstein is shaking in his cave! he is so deadly thinking i am going to steal his role as the new smartest man to ever exist!  
\- chanhee, shut up. i am trying to think straight.  
\- straight? this isn’t going to happen, bub. you are-  
the worker itself interrumpts the younger one.  
\- sir chanhee, do you want something more? i realized you already drank all your coffee! i am really glad you seem to like it.  
\- oh, yes! i want the one moon is drinking now. thanks, jacob.  
kevin almost fainted as he heard his best friend saying his name. he messed up everything. he messed up really bad.  
\- can you please stop talking forever? – he whispered as soon as jacob leaves their table.  
\- what i did now? saying his name? his name is in his outfit, dumbass.  
\- then what if he thinks i told you about him and now you know his name?  
\- if that’s so he is pretty dumb... just like you. oh my god, true soulmates! changmin and i could never, because he is dumb and i am smart… wow, you should marry him, kevin!  
kevin just wants to run after all of that. he hates when chanhee was like this, but he admitted (in deep of his heart) that chanhee can get everything being the way he is, so he just let this happen. he was wondering what would happen after. 

after that, kevin felt the need to go at the coffee almost everyday. he always went with chanhee though, because he is just too afraid to be alone with jacob again.  
everything happens the same way. kevin felt awkwardly better from not being in canada anymore. chanhee teasing him. jacob smiling. all went okay to kevin, he was getting used to it.  
until the day chanhee let him fell off his comfortable bubble space.  
\- i am not going to the coffee bar today, kevin.  
\- wait, what? why?  
\- changmin wants me to teach him maths. and guess what! i planned to confess my love to him today. we are so linked to each other.  
\- oh, my god, chanhee. good luck! but i don’t want to go alon-  
\- kevin, if you don’t want to go alone, then don’t go. you went there yesterday, you don’t need to go today too. i am sure you are not going to die from not seeing jacob one single day.  
\- but…  
\- and if you really want to go, then just go. you are not going to die if he talks to you alone too. and if you do, then that’s not my business. – he looks up to his phone. - changmin is calling me. good luck with jacob though. you need to go so the gay community can win two times today!  
\- just shut up forever, chanhee. oh my god...

chanhee picked up all his materials that could help him out. he was nervous as he never felt before. and am i doing it too much? is a simple confession like ‘’i like you’’ will be more successful? is this one too clingy?  
\- no, no. i am going to stay with that. i thought about it too much. if he doesn’t realize, then i did nothing. – he whispered to himself. - who are you talking about, chanhee?  
chanhee thought his heart was out of his own body.  
\- where are we going to study? – changmin moved his head innocently.  
\- we? ah, here!  
\- okay! i am so glad you exist chanhee. without you, i would be nothing. - i am also glad… - he thought of the word ‘you’, but he ended saying another word. – i exist too.  
changmin smiles widely sitting in a chair. 

kevin was not okay. why was he even there when it wasn’t supposed to be open yet? ugh. he was there though. jacob. abd he didn’t notice the creepy guy staring at him outside the bar. good.  
kevin tried again to enter the building. he was ready to face jacob alone, he thought to himself. he was going to say some bullshit about not sleeping properly today so jacob is going to make him a coffee and they will talk about something useless.  
that was his plan, but when he was about to go in, he heard jacob’s soft voice. he was singing. in english. in the same voice kevin felt in love years ago. 

what if i knew how you felt?  
i would have treated you better  
what if i realized  
you were hurting inside? 

 

\- what was the equation you really wanted me to do? i think i am smart enough to solve it now. – changmin laughed, making chanhee’s heart burst in his chest.  
\- here. 

9x – 7i > 3(3x-7u)  
\- you have to isolate the ‘i’.  
changmin started to do it at his own.  
9x – 7i > 9x – 21u  
-7i < -21u  
i<3u  
chanhee started sweating as he sees changmin looking shocked to the answer.  
\- this is not right. – he says serious.  
changmin erases the answer and start to do it again. chanhee wanted to cry.  
q<3n  
\- what you are doing? changing the letters on it…  
\- it is my answer. q’s answer to new genius’s formula. what is so wrong about that? 

kevin enters the bar not letting jacob continue his song.  
\- why?  
\- k-kevin? hi! i was about to op-  
\- why, jacob? why did you leave me when we were younger? why? did you know how much i was hurted?  
\- moon, i…  
\- don’t start! let me talk first! i endured it for too many years now, let me talk.  
kevin was screaming and sobbing. jacob hated himself the most for doing him cry again.  
\- i am serious talking. why did you leave me without a word? i know i had confessed to you that time, but you hate me so much to travel the whole world just because of that? before i liked you this way, i thought of you as my best friend, as someone i would do everything for. but then you left me like that? saying nothing at all? neither where you were going?  
\- can i… now?  
\- you must explain that to me.  
\- kevin. i liked you, okay? the same way you did... no, i still like you.  
\- then why did you left canada? out of sudden? all of your mutual friends knew about this, i was the only one who you forgot.  
\- kevin, listen. you know the day you confessed me? i was going to tell you how i felt. i was going to confess all my feelings and then get the first flight to korea. why? i was sure you didn’t fell the same way. i was sure you were going to hate me after that, so when my mom told me we were going to live here, i decided to tell you everything. i didn’t have to manage to you hating me. to you avoiding me. but you did it first, moon. you messed up everything. – jacob starts to cry too – it would be better if you just hated me, like i thought you would. it would hurt less.... leaving you.  
jacob breathed hardly to avoid more incoming tears.  
\- you know that, right? the ‘passport home’ isn’t in the menu. i stopped making that coffee because it reminded me of you. it reminded of how much you liked it. and how much i loved seeing you react every time to it. kevin, it was the same coffee everyday. but you still reacted different for all of them.  
\- why you recommended me the same coffee then? you didn’t even know that was me.  
\- your smile, moon. your smile. even though i didn’t think that was really you, i thought that it would be better to give it a try, to make it once again. because that was the smile i loved the most. the awkward smile.  
jacob hugs kevin tight.  
\- i am sorry, okay? i know you hate me now, so my wish was accomplished. but don’t feel like i ever hated you, okay? because it never happened, kevin moon. it never will.  
\- i don’t hate you, idiot. i will never hate you.  
\- then, welcome back home, moon.  
both of them smiled through their tears. kevin kissed jacob softly in the cheeks, like they were used to. jacob then kissed slowly kevin in the lips, like they were supposed to do.  
kevin still didn’t feel like home. which was impossible because he needed to go back to his country to feel this way. but at least, the little part of canada he missed the most was back. jacob, his coffee and his habit of saying ‘welcome back home’ whenever they hug.

**Author's Note:**

> uHHHHHHHHHHHHH here's the end  
> thanks for reading !  
> the equation chanhee uses to confess is not my idea i literally searched up for a 'love equation' (vixx intensifies) and it showed up. but the reply changmin gave to him was my idea... yall can me genius mwah
> 
> a really important ps. this time... the song jacob sings is actually his. i didn't change anything so go support him at his dazed profile film my baby deserves it uwu


End file.
